So much grief...

There has just been too much grief in our lives lately. So many horrific events have confronted us in the past few weeks and even those that are far away have weighed on our minds.

It began with the missing Malaysian Airline flight. How could we not feel the pain and confusion of the grief-stricken families of the 270 on board. Even today, they are still without real answers to what happened to their loved ones.

And then the surprise crash of a news helicopter in Seattle that cost the lives of two veteran news people who many of us knew personally. The remaining survivor is in all our thoughts each day of his recuperation.

 

Since, we’ve been inundated almost daily with school slashings, military shootings, ferry sinkings, fiery bus collisions and natural disasters.

The Oso, Washington, Mudslide and the Everest Icefall Avalanche hit very close to home…both literally and figuratively.

Everest has been a part of my life for three decades and the Sherpa people have become close friends. The Mountain needs a rest. My friend Ed Hillary thought so…and so do I. Too much activity; too many people; too much trash and too much money are making Everest a victim of its own appeal. Losing those Sherpa lives as they took great risk to put in a rope route to the summit so that hundreds more could clip in and stand in the queue to say they “climbed” Everest seems more like a Disneyland ride than one of world’s natural wonders. What a shame.

The Mudslide at Oso is one of the most devastating natural disasters in our state’s history.  A 30- to 70-foot wall of mud and debris collapsed onto a small town burying many of the residents and sweeping away the homes and personal lives of everyone who lived there. There was no notice. One moment it was a typical Saturday morning and, in little more than 30 seconds, the community was gone.

The public response to the Oso disaster has been unbelievably passionate and exemplary. From the moment it happened, those who have come upon the scene have not hesitated to help. The overabundance of search volunteers have forced those in charge of the recovery to literally place people in queues to avoid putting themselves in danger while trying to assist.  The homes and highway are under as much as 75-feet of mud and the heavy equipment has only cleared about two-feet of debris as the search continues for the last two known to be lost.

The Red Cross, the United Way, the county government and FEMA have all joined together to deal with the one-mile-square devastation. The outpouring of sentiment has been heart-warming.  Hardly a media interview has been done without emotions being frayed. Supplies, clothing and even money are pouring in from every direction. The major local hospital has established a disaster relief fund to provide immediate assistance to those in need.  They hoped to raise $5000.  The fund is nearing $2 million today. This event has touched the country in a way that few on this scale ever do. We are all feeling the pain of this small town. They’re our neighbors and they’ve lost everything.  Caring for our own is the only answer.

President Obama came today and viewed the Oso devastation with our governor and two senators. Photos don’t seem to capture the scene that a first-hand view from the air does. He met with families of those lost and with the first responders who have worked tirelessly for the past weeks to find those who were missing.  He praised the resilience of the community.  He remembered a letter he received from a first responder who pointed out the care and reverence that the heavy equipment operators had taken in doing their job, knowing that this was a search for loved ones. The President made the comment that he was most impressed by the fact that the letter was paying tribute to what others had done and not to himself.

I can’t resist a shout out for two young talented professionals who have been leading the communications and community liaison efforts at Oso for FEMA, my father’s employer for 20 years.  Ryan Ike and Erin Ward showed their abilities and leadership in the classes I taught this year at the University of Washington. I am very proud of them and the stellar work they have done in this crisis.

There are generally known to be 5 stages of grief…denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I know I’ve felt elements of these at times in my life. But I would sadly add a 6^th stage and call it “recrimination”. It’s the really ugly one, as far as I’m concerned. This is the “who’s to blame?” stage and it’s already begun. It’s really a legal term and this is where the lawyers enter the picture.  They’re are swarming in on almost all these disasters to find out whose fault it was and how can we make them pay?

They’re after Boeing for making the plane that’s somewhere on the bottom of the ocean. The company that made the helicopter that crashed is under scrutiny. The crew of the ferry is being arrested for sending people to a certain death. The Sherpas are after the Nepalese government for not properly sharing the profits from the expedition income it receives and the county and state are being targeted for issuing building permits on the site of the mudslide. I’m all for finding safer ways to do all these things but for those who’ve lost their lives, it’s too late. We need to be better at caring for each other. We need to use our technology to help avoid disasters and not just to turn on the lights and feed the dog when we can’t get home in time from the party.

More self-reliance is what I think I’m looking for. Grieving is a process we can’t avoid at times like these. But we can stand up for one another. Once again, the Oso incident underscores a major tenent of life in the Pacific Northwest. We take care of our own. This is something the peoples around the world should consider.  It’s not always someone else’s fault. Sometimes it's our own fault and other times, it just happens. I want to see the storm clouds move over and let some sunshine in.  We’ve had enough misery for a while.  Don’t you think?